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Two recent court cases have interesting ramifications. The government of Arizona is forced to turn over metadata along with the documents turned over in FOA requests, and a US District Judge has ruled that owners of data stored on 3rd party computers don’t have to be notified when a warrant has been used to seize your information.

Amazon’s PhrasePay system has a new take on online shopping security. Now, with outtakes! Note: I am working on improving the video quality; please forgive me for the fuzziness- I just moved to an Adobe Premier Pro editing suite and I haven’t massaged the settings yet.

A very ugly, unscripted and unshaven (!) Geeking Akron’s continuing run-in with the inapplicably-named “Swine Flu.”

Is cloud computing ready for primetime?

With barely a few weeks before the official launch of Windows 7, one would think that all efforts of the company would be geared toward that event. Instead, some of that energy is being directed toward… H1N1 (”Swine”) Flu education.

Actually, I kinda like that.

Normally I would leave the H1N1 reporting and info to the News department and editorial staff here at AkronNewsNow, but hey- it’s encroached on my turf; and considering tht we’ve been giving a fair amount of space to H1N1 reporting, I thought I’d throw this into the mix.

The Microsoft H1N1 site (visit it here) is an informational site run off of Microsofts newer CloudApp services and aims to educate the public on genereal H1N1 information, a self-assessment tool, tips on what to do if you have (or think you have) the virus, and a survey system to get Epidemiological data to Emory Univeristy, where it derives it’s medical information (so No, your health and wellbeing are not being managed by the old Windows ME development team because they were not allowed to do anything else within the company).
Hat tip to Fark, of all places.

Ah, the Federal Trade Commission, fixing things that aren’t broken, and breaking more in the process. Earlier this year, the FTC solicited comments on new proposed regulatory changes to rules regarding public endorsements of products, this time focusing on social media applications such as blogs, facebook, twitter and other services. The largest user blocks of these services are private consumers, who use them to keep in touch with others and occasionally get some non-traditonally derived news and information.

After the comment period passed, the FTC formalized the changes and by Dec. 1 of this year, the new rules go into place where bloggers and others will be restricted in how they present any mention of a product or service where some measure of remuneration may -or may not- be given in exchange for the endosement. Violations of the guidelines would result in an $11,000 fine per occurance.

The basis for the changes is both simple and laudable. You can read the changes and explanatory text here at the FTC website (it took me a while to get through, and I recommend an adult beverage if you’re of age, as a it can be tough going as such text always is in an 81-page regulatory agency report). In a nutshell, if a product or service provider gives incentives or pays money to have a blogger or other electronic publisher for a review or endorsement, then that relationship should be disclosed. I have no problem with this, it is basic transparency that most people already subscribe to.

Where it all goes horribly pear-shaped is the complete lack of any detail or safeguards to give a pass to those who do not receive any actual remuneration for said services, and as a matter of law (Hey! Here’s my first disclaimer! You knew it was coming: I am NOT a lawyer. Just a guy in the internet publishing industry that has to watch these things). Another is that it makes no distinction of professional product reviewers and consumers who simply use social media services. Indeed, even “word of mouth” (as defined as even consumer-level of posting activity to social media sites) is a targeted outlet of endorsement by the new regs. One of the traps that I see is that just giving a product or service to someone without any actual further payment can actually make a blogger/twitterer/Facebooker liable under the regulations, if the product or service is of an uncertain, undefined value:

For example, a blogger could receive merchandise from a marketer with a
request to review it, but with no compensation paid other than the value of the product itself. Inthis situation, whether or not any positive statement the blogger posts would be deemed an “endorsement” within the meaning of the Guides would depend on, among other things, the value of that product, and on whether the blogger routinely receives such requests. (page 10)

The best way to shed light on these things is by hard examples. Take the following true scenario:

Last week, my cronies and I attended a Microsoft-sponsored Server 2008 / Windows 7 rollout event in Pittsburgh, PA for IT and internet professionals. Personally, I went simply because I could consider myself a “professional” for the afternoon, but it is useful for other reasons as well that aren’t germaine to this topic. Anyhoo… a “goody bag” item for attending is a full copy of Windows 7 Ultimate, a few weeks before the operating system becomes publicly available.

Does this look like a face that can afford an $11,000 fine for talking about something?

I’ve installed it, tested it, and it runs great. What’s more, I’ve blogged about it and posted items regarding it on Facebook. Would I have fallen within the confines of the new FTC guidlelines if I haven’t stated something to the effect of “PROMOTIONAL COPY OF WINDOWS 7 FOR REVIEWED WAS GRANTED GRATIS BY THE MICROSOFT CORPORATION TO THE REVIEWER BECAUSE HE’S TOO CHEAP TO BUY AN INDIVIDUAL COPY AND HE DROVE AN HOUR AND A HALF TO GET INFO ON IT ANYWAY FOR HIS DUTIES AT HIS JOB.” All true? Indeed, but is it relevant? Let’s look at the probable reasoning behind granting copies to IT folk (Yay! Another disclaimer! “I can’t speak for Microsoft, I am only surmising what they’re thinking with the policy of gifting copies of software at these events”). They have an audience of decision makers and specialists and primary consumers within a room. Businesses and other consumers listen to them. Making them more comfortale with a new product makes it more likely that they, and others, will be more receptive to purchasing their products and using their software. Giving a free sample of a product to these people is likely to increase down the road sales exponentially, even though we didn’t shell out the retail $300 a copy for the DVD.

Did Microsoft ask for a review? Was there a pleading for good social media references? Was Steve Balmer on his hands and knees in the foyer begging ‘please give us some props’ and sweating profusely? All no. As far as the expectation of Microsoft, we could have used them as coasters under our 20-ounce Mountain Dews. But, let’s face it, the FTC itself states that value would be a consideration in determining whether a violation of the guidelines had occured, and judging by history $300 (by most accounts what the box retail version of Ultimate would sell for) would gain the attention of someone in a cheap blue suit.

But this is just one example, and it effects geeks like me. Let’s try another that hits YOU closer to home.

Congratulations, caller- You’re a winner!!! Two tickets to the big concert on Friday!
Thanks TK O’Grady at WONE 97.5 for letting me take the pic while he was eating lunch.

Congrats, you just won a couple of tickets to the next [insert your favorite band here] concert on the weekend- just don’t say anything about it. As things read in the regulations, it seems that items given from a product producer or service provider -in this case, a concert promotor or venue- through an intermediary -a radio station- still makes the requirements follow the actual item through the intermediary, reglardless of whether the end recipient has any relationship with the originator of the tickets whatsoever. Let’s read through this slowly, with my own additions in bold to specify who is who in this clear-as-mud pile of dingos kidneys called ‘clarifying text’:

The recent creation of consumer-generated media means that in many instances, endorsements are now disseminated by the endorser, rather than by the sponsoring advertiser [the concert promoter -/bryan]. In these contexts, the Commission believes that the endorser [the radio station] is the party primarily responsible for
disclosing material connections with the advertiser [the concert promoter again]. However, advertisers [the concert promotor, again] who sponsor these endorsers [The radio station, again] (either by providing free products – directly or through a middleman [the radio station is the middleman in this situation, follow along close here] – or otherwise) in order to generate positive word of mouth and spur sales should establish procedures to advise endorsers [this means YOU, as the radio station was acting as a middleman] that they should make the necessary disclosures and to monitor the conduct of those endorsers [again, this means YOU, if you write about it. Positive word of mouth, and all that.].(page 39)

By the way, the aforementioned recommendation of an adult beverage (Disclaimer: “if you’re of age!”) is to blunt the pain incurred from beating your head against your computer monitor, which you are surely doing at this point.

So are you wanting to tweet “Great concert!” from your smartphone from the concert? I don’t think 140 characters are going to be enough in room for a disclaimer to keep you from civil penalties, were someone from the FTC to press the point.

Basically, this is poorly written drivel while there is no distinction made between those who write reviews for a living, or who write them as a matter of course in addition to their duties and the average consumer who gets caught up in the dragnet of government boilerplate. Think it won’t get to this level?

It was reported last week that an elderly couple in Spring, Texas was raided by federal authorities in a SWAT-style operation under the auspices of the Fish and Wildlife Service for the horrible crime of- possessing legal orchids in their greenhouse.

Mr. Norris ended up spending almost two years in prison because he didn’t have the proper paperwork for some of the many orchids he imported. The orchids were all legal – but Mr. Norris and the overseas shippers who had packaged the flowers had failed to properly navigate the many, often irrational, paperwork requirements the U.S. imposed when it implemented an arcane international treaty’s new restrictions on trade in flowers and other flora.

It wasn’t even their fault, but they were convicted anyway. Badly written regulations have even worse consequences.

It’s my personal belief that the long-held notion that the intent to commit a crime needs to be present for a crime to have been committed, but the wandering maze of beureaucratic hell we’ve been developing over recent decades have made the act of living nearly impossible without inadvertantly breaking some laws and rules somewhere along the line.

Perhaps saving a fistful of dollars isn’t something you’ll say you’d be interested in, but you’d be lying. When it comes to computer security and antivirus software, personal and business PC users spend a huge amount of cash at the Symantecs, Kasperskis, McAfees (and many others) of the world. However, even though a few remain free and fairly effective at preventing and/or finding infections on our boxes, most average users aren’t aware of them and either go unsecured or, as previously implied, whip out the credit card.

Microsoft, however, has finally released a full antivirus security suite that is free, as in beer. Dubbed the “Free Security Essentials Antivirus” product, the now-available download from the Microsoft website shouldn’t be confused with the long-available Microsoft Malicious Software Removal Tool, which was a piece of software distributed by Windows Updates and manual Microsoft downloads that allowed users to remove many bits of nasty software after an infection had already occurred. Also, most versions of the other free varieties of antivirus software is restricted to home users, but according to the writeup at Gizmodo, no such restrictions apply for commercial users*. Bottom line- up, up and away!

The Microsoft Free Secur- aw, heck; I’ll call it FSEA for short- has a couple of features that I really like: It offers rootkit protection, which is a malware infection with a devious ability to attach itself to a user’s hard drive in a manner that even a complete operating system reinstallation can’t remedy, and it also uses CPU throttling, which is a function to ensure that the antivirus scanning does not eat up so much of your system’s resources that it becomes slow or unresponsive while it is running. Lastly, there is no software registration, validation** or expiration dates to worry about (when was the last time you tried to remember the email address you used to register that copy of Symantec you last used a year ago? Frustration, exemplified.)

Now, if you’ll excuse the snark, no one knows malware like Microsoft. I guess that if you’re going to opt for a free antivirus suite from anyone, you’d choose the people who know the “intended victim” the best.

* The Microsoft Corporation still offers commercial products for business and enterprise security products, “Forefront” among them. They don’t want to steal business away from themselves; therefor the download page at Microsoft they offer a link to the Forefront free trial, but it still doesn’t mean that you can’t use FSEA in a business environment.

** Apart from the software checking to make sure you have a legit Windows installation to keep pirated versions from using the product.

Lyndse, Andrew and I were having a conversation regarding words that drive us crazy, and we came up with a list of terms that have been in use over the last year that we really want to see die a quick, and permanent, death. The only thing that makes me wince slightly about reproducing these terms is the fact that I have recently used some of these myself in a very public way…

Most of these terms can be found in the Urban Dictionary. It’s a good way to figure out what the kids are sayin’ these days, or a great timesink when you can’t focus on your to-do list.

Staycation: When you can’t afford gas, hotel charges or plane fare and you need to burn vacation time.

Funemployed: The term that is used to describe the period of time between receiving a pink slip and the time when you notice the severance package cash running out.

Depressionista/Recessionista: Someone who, despite significant financial hardship, manages to look like they have money to burn on style, culture, fashion and/or entertainment.

Vlog: Sure, we use them here; we just don’t like the word. A compound of the terms “Video” and “Blog”, a Vlog just sounds like one of Douglas Adams’ alien races from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series… or perhaps it’s the semblance to the word “flog.”

Blogosphere: Again, it’s the sound of the term itself that drives us nuts; a Blogosphere sounds like a Star Wars Death Star designed and built solely by Sci-Fi convention and Comic-Con attendees. Which perhaps it is, now that I think of it…

McJob: Lyndse has more of the aversion to this term than I do; McJob refers to any of a genre of entry-level, per-hour wage type jobs in the restaurant or retail industry.

Cankles: Fat lower calves on women. (Please, no emails concerning those people you believe to sport the archtype Cankles. That includes Hillary Clinton. And, God forbid, don’t send me pictures.)

Man Cave: I simply find this one a little demeaning. Sure, my personal space at home consists of a slightly damp, dimly lit space full of humming electronics that is, technically, located below grade under my house. But I utterly reject any comparison of my basement and a cave. Apart from the gnawed bones and potsherds in the back of course- that’s entirely coincidental.

Fauxhawk (this one bugs Lyndse especially badly): I hadn’t heard of this one before today, but Die Lyndse is apparently well familiar with it. Fauxhawks are full heads of hair that are simply combed upwards from the sides to create a pseudo-mohawk. She decries the lack of dedication to a mohawk a fauxhawk allows.

Lyndse, who has some experience in hairstyle commitment.

Emo: Here’s one of those terms, unlike Blogosphere and Vlog, where I don’t mind the term so much as the people it denotes. Emos, or Emo Kids, etc. are trash-fashion, depression-prone late teens and early twentysomethings that, in place of a job, sport a nihilistic streak, access to a healthy trust fund and a propensity to whine or cry over any damned thing that so much as smacks of the lack of inherent self-worth. These weak-kneed softcore punks can usually be identified by a bulimic look, dark clothing (wearing their sister’s jeans apparently delivers extra “points” in Emo couture), hairstyles that double as camouflage (if theymake a habit of standing in front of a black-dyed Yeti) and enough eyeliner to cause a stumbling instability in walking gait due to being topheavy.

Driving While Texting (”DWT”): Again, it’s not so much the term as what it refers to. there have been such a rash of news reports, insurance industry studies and legislative initiatives concerning distracted driving that if I see another Blackberry poised in front of a steering while on my morning commute I’m going to spew (while keeping my hands on the steering wheel, of course).

Twitter/Tweet/Tweeting, etc.: Neat service, but it’s approaching a near religious status with many people. While I’m not asking for a cessation in the service, there are those that believe I should be receiving vital information, gained only from “following” and then intensely monitoring, their Twitter account- which is something I just don’t have time for. “You didn’t know about the meeting?!? But I tweeted it!”

Bromance: The plutonic, but overly-close, affection between two males. The mental image of repeated amicable shoulder-slugs and extensive and overly developed and refined semantic uses for the word “dude” abound.

Sexting: Most people know and understand that the use of portable electronic devices by teens (and sometimes younger… gahh!) to deliver naked and/or sexually explicit photos to their paramours is both illegal and prone to significant social stigma if they’re passed around, which they inevitably are. At the same time, there is also a small but undeniable wistfulness in the realization by most adults that decry this dangerous fad that they, themselves, were sorry they didn’t have similar things going on when they went to high school.

ProTip: Generally defined as expert advice on any particular subject, a ProTip seems like it would be better defined as an overpriced screwdriver.

i stolz ur intrnats money

I have to admit that I let this one go for a while, but with the economy sitting on shaking knees and everyone looking to cut costs, “unseen” expenses are sometimes overlooked for cutting when temporary expenses (eating out, vacations, home home improvements, etc.) seem to get more of our notice. Now, when I say “unseen”, it’s not that people aren’t aware of what they’re paying, they’re just so used to seeing a recurring figure in a monthly bill that they overlook it when the first round of reviews of household expenses begin. Add to that the expected frustration of sitting on hold for a non-native English speaker while digging through piles of bills looking for that elusive account number can make the job just that much more justifiably avoidable- but it’s worth it if you’re out of your contract period for most of the services you have.

Although my situation is purely anecdotal, I saved a lot of money yesterday, to a tune of about $85 a month. Would that make it worth it to you? That’s over a thousand dollars a year, and I did it while -UP-grading my services instead of cutting a thing. Look at this scenario: my high speed internet cost me $75 a month, satellite TV was $45, and general phone services were $25 a month, plus taxes and miscellaneous fees to a tune of around $150. (Yeah, I know, I’m a heavy internet user; more than most. But a lot of people pay for additional TV services I’ll never use like HD service, DVR options, extended channels and additional set fees and the like so I don’t think I’m too far down the average user budget curve.)

A knock on the door this past weekend from a saleswoman from the local cable company got my wife and I into this budget-conscious mode. She was offering new bundled service options. Although we did not take the salesperson up on her offer (the services weren’t quite what we needed due to my special internet requirements), I decided to pick up the phone and start seeing what else we could do. We hadn’t reviewed our services since 2006 and we were long since past the contract dates. Had the prices and plans changed?

Indeed they did. Significantly.

After haggling for a while with Sergio at the customer service center of one of the prominent phone and digital service providers (the third I tried), I got him to agree to bundle decent digital TV service, a 100% increase in speed to my internet connection and basic telephone service (gotta have 911 access, otherwise we rely almost exclusively on our cell phones in my family) for $65 a month, and get a $100 rebate in the mail as icing on the cake. Is that a reasonable sum for the hour or so I spent on the research and mild frustration with language disjunction? No question.

I think my next magical trick is to take a gander at my auto insurance policy. Why, again, am I paying for comprehensive and collision insurance on a now-nearly ten year old car? “Please hold for the next available customer service representative…”

After flogging the list of Staycation ideas yesterday, I promised to bring forth a list that geeks can use for ideas to use on a Staycation. Now, like every other “group”, it is made up of individuals and so not all (or theoretically any) ideas would be appropriate for all people. But I am going to take a shot.

“Read.”

If you know that a vacation is coming, spend some time saving money and get several good books. Better yet, get something that comes in an episodic volumes that you ordinarily wouldn’t because you didn’t think that they would all be available at the same time (”Dangit, I can’t find a copy of book 2!”). It’s restful, ultimately good for your cognitive skills, not mind-numbing as in television viewing and it’s great to build up the library. Is this the most revolutionary idea for vacation time? Certainly not, but sometimes even the painfully obvious needs restating.

“Shake up your meals.”

If you’re the type that eats out a lot, I recommend actually planning and cooking a few good meals at home. Make it a project. There are so many free recipe sites online that not an ounce of expense need be paid to do as much research as you want. Moreover, try to use ingredients that ordinary megamart grocery store don’t carry. Make it a point to visit your local Asian, Greek, Italian, Russian …whatever… store, and see what you’re missing. (Note to a few friends, and you know who are… Mortadella does not mean “lunchmeat of death.”)

Alternately, if you’re a big homebody like me and cooks at home most of the time, then make plans to eat out some, with one rule: it has to be a place that you haven’t been to before, and preferrably a style that you haven’t sampled or haven’t had recently. It doesn’t have to be a place that requires dress codes or reservations; they’re not to be avaoided, either. But try that Korean place a few miles down the road, the Indian place that can make a fantastic vegetarian meal and still make you not miss the meat, or the rare Carribbean/Jamaican/Latin American cuisine place.

The whole point of this is to shake you out of your rut, even if you can’t make it out of town. In my own experience, food is such a large portion of any culture, that even changing that on a temporary basis is as much of a change of scenery as you can get.

“Organize your tech”

All us geeks have several projects laying around that could do with an organizational kick. Perhaps it is the home theater speaker wiring strangling cats. Perhaps it’s the tangle of rechargable device battery pack cables imitating a plate of spaghetti on the counter. Have a veritable Stonehenge of computers in the office; operable, but ready to topple over in a cascade of steel and silicon labelled “Dell”? Now’s the time to clean up. But before you get out the dusting rags and cans of compressed air, it’s time to break out the graph paper and design an actual solution to the stuff Philip K. Dick referred to as kipple.

Businesses use server racks because there isn’t enough desk space in the world to hold all of those systems running side-by-side. If you’re a geek like me, then planning is essential to keeping the stuff running but out of the way. If you have a bunch of desktops, bite the bullet and get a KVM switch and ditch your multiple monitors and keyboards immersed in Fritos crumbles and Dr. Pepper splatter. Put mounting “ears” on your PC cases and whip up a DIY server rack (like one of these; or just google “DIY server rack” and you’ll get plenty more) on the cheap. More than just the boxes themselves, it keeps the cabling in a much more managable environment. You’ll be happier.

Go to your local wine purveyor and gather up a nice wooden wine crate and mount inside a power strip with breaker inside it. Cut a small hole in the back and pass the power cable for the strip through it. Voila… portable device recharging station that hides your iPhone, camera, DAP (Digital Audio Player), bluetooth headset, WAN signal detector, medical tricorder, Flip video camera, miniature RC cars and NiCad batteries. Even use it store your wallet, car keys, or anything else that you want to keep in one place… and covered, to boot.

“One word: Museums.”

Museums, as well as zoos, aquariums, conventions, galleries and showcases are huge on most geek’s lists. I’m truly sorry to say that in my day-in, day-out routine of the job, family, commute and chores that I have visited the Akron Art Museum only once in my ten years here in Akron, and perhaps the same number of times for the Akron Zoo and the Metroparks Zoo. (Those familiar with my personal past know that I once worked as the exhibits tech in the curatorial department of the then-Inventure Place museum attached to the then- National Inventor’s Hall of Fame, a job I picked up as soon as I got into town. I don’t count these visits; it was work!) Anyhow…

Now that you have some time, go hit the museums in and around town. It has the effect of making one feel erudite or educated, or both, even your idea of “culture” is the stuff growing in the back of the fridge. Add on top of that most museum’s relative inexpensive admission for an afternoon’s browsing, most are located in pedestrian-friendly areas that get you out and walking which gives you ample opportunities to experience what else the town has to offer.

“Do a ’stupid’ project.”

Why is it certain things stir a geek’s soul? One may never know, but the “fun” factor should never be denied. Airbrush flames onto your lawn mower. Organize landscaping patterns that are only recognizable to Google Satellite views. It doesn’t truly matter what the project is; just have fun with it and take the time to do it right.

“Pranks.”

I have long been known as a prankster; only less so as the people I work with increasingly expect more “respectability” from me as years go by. As things stand though, planning and executing a good prank is something that delivers a big sense of personal accomplishment. Along with deciding to do this, there are a few rules you MUST follow. I call them Bryan’s Rules of Pranking:

• Under no circumstances perform a prank that breaks, permanently modifies or vandalizes property, or which costs the victim money to repair/reverse.
• Break no laws in the process, especially trespassing or theft.
• Your prank must be played on someone who will appreciate the joke, with a mind toward the fact that you must own up to it immediately after the prank. This also excudes strangers and people who you are only “somewhat familiar”.
• Those with no sense of humor shall not be targets.
• Pranking in good taste is funny. Humiliating someone is absolutely not, and only demonstrates that you are the idiot.

Keep these things in mind and it almost can’t go wrong.

Examples:
Boobytrapping a center-desk drawer so that when opened, a microswitch activates a small battery powered case fan located in a drop ceiling above the desk which blows confetti or packing peanuts (stored in a cardboard tube attached to the fan) down onto the victim.

Switch the victim’s door from right-handed to left (or vice-versa). Deny noticing that anything has changed. After a few days, switch it back.

Use a socket-to-power adapter in a large light fixture, plug in a loud noisemaking device (home security siren, etc.) inside.

Abide by the rules; use your imagination.

So to wrap up, have fun, and do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do.